I Hereby Declare Sunday, May 22nd…

…Bad Theologians Day!

And I even offer a song, so everybody dance!


Merry Not-Quite Christmas!

Now get down!

Best all-time YouTube comment on Dylan:

OK kids…everybody sing…..

“whose pulled our leg for 50 years?
BOB’s pulled our leg for 50 years
whose had? one too many beers?
BOB’s had one too many beers!
50 years!
Too many beers!
Must be Santa, Must be Santa, Must be Santa

On Those European Bus Signs…

calling for women’s ordination, I have an equally valid and just as likely idea for a marketing campaign:

What never ceases to grind my gears about this whole deal is that some continue to think the Church’s position on female clergy is a matter of policy, such as mandatory celibacy for diocesan priests, and thus subject to change.

It isn’t. Even if, somewhere down the line, the Spirit appointed a pontiff sympathetic to the cause, he would have as much power to change this dogma as he would the Christian dogma on the Trinity.

We live in strange times. On the one hand, there is a legitimate, constant need to defend Truth and Virtue in the public square. On the other, there’s this disingenuous notion that if you clamor loudly enough for something, you can change Truth and Virtue.

New Film: Pope Michael

“Pope Michael” Trailer from Pope Michael Documentary on Vimeo.

Looks entertaining, in the kind of way which has allowed me to enjoy the wacky, quaalude-driven world of William S. Burroughs.

Give ‘em hell, Chewy

From a friend, who pulled it from here:

More Church Sign Fun…

For You Mullet Lovers Out There…

For some odd reason, I get a dozen or so hits per day from folks searching for information on mullets. So for all of you mullet hunters out there, this post is for you.

First: “[Patrick] Kane’s mullet is playoff ready,” from the Toronto Sun.

Second, this t-shirt, available for purchase from the NHL store:

Third, a picture of the man’s mullet itself, which he acknowledges as “trashy”:

And finally, what the mullet means for Chicago:

The Wrath of Kahn – Robot Chicken Style

Kahn! Kahn! KAAAHHHN!

“Girls Can’t Write Books! Haw Haw Haw!”

Hat tip to Richard.

So, So Cheesy…

…it’s hard not to love it.

I’m Back!

(Savage Chickens wins again.)

Ferguson Shows Brilliance

Watch Craig Furguson explain “why everything sucks,” to the end:

Humor is always grounded in the truth. (H/T: A Friend)

The New Jib-Jab

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

What’s amazing is how this crosses party lines. Starry-eyed fanboys and girls will look at this and say, “Right on!,” while the other side of the aisle will recognize this as a parody of a leader who will never live up to the Messianic expectation responsible for getting him elected.

At any rate, the Jib-Jab folks just served up an ace.

From the St. Paul Tea Party…

…via Powerline

Detonating Squirrels?

Via Facebook update, Domenico Bettinelli brings us a great headline: “Spokane to detonate squirrels tearing up parks

Just innocent, quasi rat-like creatures? I think not.

Anyway, check out the Rodenator Pro, enlisted to get the job done:

Great video of this sweet little death-bringer here. The headline’s a little misleading. The squirrels will technically be either relocated or suffocated.

More likely, they’ll just build new tunnels.

Finally. Some Jane Austen I Can Get Behind!

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!

Just the cover makes me want to own it.

Jane Austen just isn’t guy stuff. A little pinch of “zombie” turns anything into instant awesome, though.

(If you care to read the legitimate Pride and Prejudice – though I can’t imagine why you would -  do it with the Ignatius Critical Edition!)

UPDATE! A priest buddy of mine reminds us that Pride and Predator (follow the link, folks. You won’t be sorry) is coming to the Big Screen!

The new film from Elton John’s Rocket Pictures will have the seven-foot extraterrestrial give the characters from Pride and Prejudice something more immediate to worry about than making advantageous marriages.

Finally! Something that doesn’t bore me to tears.

How I Spent Earth Hour

This post by Kathy Shaidle prompted me to inquire, “What was I doing at 8:30 last night during this whole Earth Hour deal?”

At exactly 8:30 PM, I left the family home after watching Villanova beat Pitt. I left the T.V. on, along with the three computers I’d used throughout the evening, just in case the dogs wanted to check their email while I was gone, or catch the post-game wrap-up. And just in case they wanted to drive to Best Buy to pick me up something, I left the back door open with the house’s heater going strong (just in case they decided to stay in). Oh, and the lights: I left three or four of those on, too. I then proceeded to drive a few blocks (chlorofluorocarbons! CO2!) to my sister’s house, where we turned on more lights and another television.

Is it wrong that in reviewing my evening, I feel nothing but loathing for those who suggest I should’ve done something differently?

In my defense (should I need to raise one), at least I’m more conscientious about power usage at school: you guys (or at least the good people of Joliet and Chicago) pick up that tab, and it’s bad stewardship to be wasteful. This has always been my approach to rectory living as well.

But this notion of universal stewardship in regard to power resonates not one iota in my apparently cold, blackened, cynical heart. Build another nuclear power plant. We have half a dozen right down the road, and I have yet to melt or transform into a fair-haired version of the Incredible Hulk.

In the end: I reject the growingly compulsory approach to the religion of environmentalism. I already have my savior, and it ain’t Mother Earth.

Time to go eat pizza and drink a couple beers with some visitors from the internship parish, which will no doubt increase my carbon footprint through the production and release of methane gas.

(Note: The picture above comes from an environmentalist website. A Google Images search for “hippies” yields this gem on the first page. Go figure.)

This is Why I Miss Student Newspapers

From Sean T. Johnston: Birthday song is very annoying

I always look over in pity at the poor sap who’s being clapped and sung at. I’m embarrassed because he’s embarrassed.

What’s almost as bad is when this happens in seminary. You hear a collective “ugh” before we sing and clap. The guy hates it, and the only person who enjoys it is the playfully mischievous guy who makes the news public knowledge, usually by screaming out to the entire refectory.

Check that. Maybe it’s worse in the seminary. At least at a restaurant, you end up with a cheap little dessert as a consolation prize.

Kudos to Johnston for being an apostle of common sense.

(H/T: My buddy Eddie)

Greg Makes My Day: “Hey There Cthulhu”

For the record, I loathe the song “Hey There Delilah” parodied here. But this just plain rocks.

Like Esoteric Humor? You’ll Love “Look Around You”

I love this stuff, because it reminds me of all those 70′s/early 80′s videos I watched in high school. And it’s so ridiculous (and subtle) that that I can’t stop watching. Good work, BBC.

There are many of these on YouTube, so if you like this video, jump on over there and go to town.