In Josh’s World
Blog Necromancer!
I’m back! And hopefully for good this time.
Truth be told, my writer’s itch gets scratched through weekly homily composition. Writing a homily is a lot like blogging: they both center around fact-analysis in an attempt to relate something the writer deems important enough for the audience to hear. Plus, giving a homily is more immediately gratifying, as reactions to what you say prove whether or not you’ve missed the mark.
Homiletics makes it difficult to blog. Before all, blogging should be fun, and one should have some latitude to write on whatever he or she chooses. But as a priest, I feel like my blog should have theological content above all; and yet, at the end of the day I don’t feel like writing about theology, since I spend all day surrounded by it either in private study, prayer, ministry, or homiletics.
So, as a sort of Advent resolution, I’ve resolved to just plain write on whatever. Writing is good for me, no matter how it comes or where it goes.
At any rate, I am — once again — back.
BONUS! BONUS! BONUS! ARTWORK! ARTWORK! ARTWORK!
Prints available upon request.
The Little Things…
Brought back for yours truly, on the occasion of the beatification of Bl. John Paul II. Long live the Holy Father!
Eleven Awesome Things
In an effort to keep everyone abreast on my recent activities, behold: I bring you eleven awesome things!
#1) PRIESTHOOD. Of course I’d lead with this. It’s been a great adventure thus far, and as it has become my life/absorbed the overwhelming majority of my time as of late, I could do a whole post just on the awesomeness of priesthood. Which I’m bound to do, at some point or another. With the exception of #2, the rest of this list is just awesome stuff I’ve noticed along the way.
#2) MY BISHOP. Or my former bishop. He was recently named as the Archbishop of Seattle, effective December 1st. I’m extremely happy for Archbishop Sartain, though we as a diocese are sad to see him go.
#3) ST. THOMAS MORE’S UTOPIA. Never read it before I picked it up recently. It’s good. If you like political philosophy, check ‘er out.
#4) THE WALKING DEAD. A&E’s new series. It’s awesome. Check out the comics if you like the series. A good TV show/movie will stay true to the book, after all.
#5) GENE WOLFE. The guy’s a genius. I’m going to do a massive post on Wolfe after I finish the Sun books.
#6) CALL OF DUTY: BLACK OPS. At the end of the day — especially if it’s been a busy one — a few pixelated terrorists need to get theirs.
#7) BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. Didn’t think I’d like it, but I do. The later seasons aren’t as great as the first three, but no huge revelations there. It’s generally accepted that the quality of the series decreases over time.
#8) THE DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS. Great band. Great southern rock.
#9) NEBRASKA FOOTBALL. No matter what happens from here on out, I’m proud of the Huskers. GO BIG RED!
#10) CHTHULHU. Always awesome.
#11) SPAWN. Lately, I find myself returning to boyhood interests. Spawn and Wolverine were my favorite comic book characters growing up, and the Spawn series is even better than I remember it.
*****
And because I wouldn’t want to give off the impression that I’ve lost my critical/cynical nature, four not-so-awesome things:
#1) JUSTIN BIEBER/POP MUSIC. It’s terrible. If Justin Bieber is the Kurt Cobain of his generation, then I feel really, really sorry for that generation.
#2) NAPERVILLE TRAFFIC. Also terrible. I despise driving enough to begin with. Don’t need help.
#3) HULU PRIME. It’s a bust. $9.99 to stream on the television exactly what one gets on the Internet for free. Plus you still have to watch the ads. Nice try, Hulu.
#4) THE CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS. No defensive cohesion. They look awful.
*****
Until next time!
A Tale of iPhone Discontent
To the left, you’ll see what happens when an unprotected iPhone 3G meets the linoleum floor.
I had a few choice words for my bathroom when it happened, but in the end I didn’t feel too bad about the catastrophe. I’d decided to upgrade a couple of weeks ago, and this gave me even more incentive to get it done on my day off.
The reason I wanted the upgrade before the carnage: speed. Even with v4.1 of Apple’s OS installed on the phone, the delay between touching an icon and getting any kind of productivity out of the old 3G was immense. The delay in opening up my calendar or any website (to check for an email telling me where to go, a common occurance) was maddening.
A cellphone is an indispensable part of my work as a priest. This might sound crazy since the human race (and the Church) did just dandy for a long while without them, but it has become a standard must-have for ministry in the 21st century. It allows me to be away from the office doing things either for myself or others, and yet I’m still connected to the office. When parishioners get sick, or a funeral comes in, or the schedule changes because of some general calamity, it’s good to know that your priest has a cellphone. I didn’t carry one with any real tenacity until it became clear to me that others would benefit from my doing so.
*****
Now, back to the main reason for this post.
An iPhone user can text Apple to determine whether they qualify for a discounted upgrade, and here’s the feedback I received:
A full discount on a standard handset or iPhone upgrade is not available at this time but you may qualify on 01/25/2011. We can offer you a discounted iPhone upgrade at a higher price with a 2-yr commitment and an $18 upgrade fee. Please visit a participating iPhone sales location for pricing on this offer.
Because this is worded so vaguely, and because they did not include pricing options, I took the above to mean that I could upgrade to the 4G for $18.
Looking at it now, I know better. It wasn’t $18 to upgrade: in the end, it was $218. Two-hundred and eighteen dollars. Thus, the 16 GB model jumps from $199 to $417, the 32 GB model from $299 to $518. If $518 qualifies as a “discounted iPhone upgrade,” I don’t even want to know what they run without a discount.
To their credit, AT&T staff explained that they don’t set the prices on the phone: Apple does. So I am not at all displeased with AT&T (this time): it’s Apple who has stirred up my ire.
*****
According to CNet, a 16 GB iPhone 4G costs $188 to build. This means that neither Apple nor the retailer make much on standard upgrade models, but they sure do make a killing on early upgraders such as myself.
Far be it for me to criticize capitalism at its finest, but this seems like a poor pricing structure. If Apple were smart, they’d raise the qualifying upgrade price and reduce the non-qualifying upgrade, because this would give more incentive for people to upgrade earlier. I know that at $518, I’ll be waiting a good long while before I replace this piece of equipment; at $300, however, I would be more inclined to purchase their next newfangled release in a year or so.
Besides, Apple truly makes its money in all of those $.99 purchases you make over time. And because I have so much invested in applications, I couldn’t walk away from Apple even though the cost of staying was so dreadfully high.
Apple has a good business strategy overall, but we need to be honest about it. They make products that are easy to use with stable operating systems (stability resulting from a small hardware spec set), and package them in sleek designs. Under the hood, Apple employs middle-of-the-road hardware, which is why I will never buy a computer from them.
That, and they sell their mediocre tech at a hellacious price.
*****
Ultimately, I’m not dissatisfied with their business strategy: I’m dissatisfied at how useless they made the 3G. Because they began designing their OS for bigger, better hardware, the 3G suffered. Big time. Even the simple act of typing a text message became dreadful, with the OS hanging for seemingly no reason on every single character I typed. I’d even regularly miss calls, because the slider-bar hung while the phone attempted to establish a connection.
With the 3G, Apple effectively rendered its own hardware inept.
When the AT&T sales rep told me what it would cost to replace the phone, I was faced with a decision: replace the glass at a small price and continue to slog on with an obsolete piece of hardware, or pay through the nose for a new one.
I chose to pay, but I never should have had to make that decision at all.
Speechless
In one week: I’m ordained a priest, and the Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup.
Doesn’t get much better than this.
And Now…
…a return to the traditional, light-hearted feel of this blog: me wearing awesome, esoteric ordination gifts!
The generosity of others amazes me: as seminarian and fledgling priest, I have received more from others than I deserve, so I decided to take pictures and show them off.
I received three items of clothing, really suiting me perfectly. The first came from my buddy Richard who often comments on these schizophrenic pages. Since you can’t clearly see the front, here’s a link to the Admiral Ackbar shirt: “IT’S A TRAP!”
Next, a great priest friend of mine knew that I’ve always wanted a Hawks sweater. And by “always,” I mean since I was fifteen years old. I had been holding out this season on the off-chance that I might get one with the Stanley Cup patch up top. I customized it with my name, because I don’t like the prospect of paying for a sweater, only to have my favorite player change teams next year. I’m also wearing a finals hat, purchased by the same priest:
I really appreciate everyone’s gifts and support! But most of all, keep praying for me and priests in general.
Ordination
This Saturday, I was ordained a priest.
It’s been difficult to put a finger on what to say about it, exactly. I originally began blogging to explore the discernment process, a theme I more-or-less stayed true to through my three projects, Saint Some Days, Fiat: Discerning God’s Call, and here at Quid Sit? And now that my vocational discernment has come to its conclusion, I find myself overwhelmed by a number of thoughts and emotions that are difficult to accurately describe outside the context of prayer.
People ask me if I feel any different, which is another difficult thing to answer. Of course I feel different, but how I feel different is impossible to put down in words.
I think I can describe one part of it, though.
When my brothers and I hit the marble during the Litany of Saints, it struck me that everything I’d experienced — the good, the bad, and the ugly — all of it was leading up to that very moment. It struck me that I’m a worm and no man, and here I am, on the floor, no more than a speck of dust in the cosmos, acknowledging that fact. I acknowledged that God has called me to do something that I alone cannot do. I felt very small.
Then I stood up. I did not stand because I thought myself worthy of such gift or responsibility. I stood to receive the bishop’s hands because God called, and I knew — in that very moment — that the God who willed such a thing for me would always give me the grace to live up to my ordination.
And it’s been all thanksgiving ever since.
The Pending Blackhawks Stanley Cup: What it Means to a Fan and to a City
Dustin Byfuglien celebrates a game-winning goal against the Sharks in the Conference Finals
I have a sordid hockey past.
Growing up for a few years outside of Ann Arbor, the sport is very much a part of the culture. The Red Wings are huge everywhere given their two-decade history of success, and people come out in good numbers to watch the University of Michigan. Living in proximity to Detroit and not supporting the Wings is tantamount to living in Nebraska and not supporting the Huskers. Where the Michigan/Michigan St. rivalry divides, Red Wings hockey unites.
Moving to central Illinois made it hard to follow the Wings. Televised coverage was limited to national broadcasts alongside those few games where the Wings battled it out with their division rivals, the Chicago Blackhawks, at Joe Lewis Arena.
Still, I loved the game of hockey. I found myself watching the Hawks play other teams besides the Wings, and would discuss these games with a classmate and lifelong Chicago supporter. I gradually became what my childhood mind would have thought impossible two years prior: I became a Blackhawks fan.
I even started hoping they’d beat the Wings.
******
Chris Chelios, my all-time favorite Hawk
Not that the Blackhawks teams from my youth (or early adulthood, for that matter) were any good. They weren’t. Some were mediocre. Some were less than mediocre. And from 2003-2007, they were horrible. I mean, really, really horrible. Worst franchise in all of professional sports horrible.
Still, if being a fan of Chicago sports teaches you anything, it’s patience. You suffer in hope that one day, you’ll be rewarded for your faithfulness. In the meantime, you enjoy all the free tickets you’re offered, and take advantage of discount prices for students.
The Blackhawks aren’t the Cubs, the third-most popular team in the league, playing in the historic and beautiful Wrigley Field, with national exposure through WGN. The Hawks play fifth fiddle in this town, behind the Bears, Cubs, Bulls, and White Sox. Unlike the Cubs, when the Hawks are terrible, nobody pays attention to the fact that they are terrible. Prior to the Western Conference Finals this year, nobody talked hockey on Chicago sports radio, which is understandable: nobody was interested.
******
Keep it like this all year, every year
But people are interested now, thanks in large part to owner Rocky Wirtz’s dedication toward winning. Blackhawks mania is everywhere in Chicago, and people are starting to take notice of what a great game hockey is.
Some will call it bandwagoning. I suppose it is. But bandwagon fans can only be a good thing for hockey in this city; increased interest will lead to increased expectation, and hopefully we won’t see another Hawks team with 43 losses in a single season. Mainstreaming hockey in Chicago stands to benefit old-time hockey fans the most, since we will no longer feel like our interest is slightly less obscure than those who care about the MLS Chicago Fire. And we’re all but guaranteed a better product on the ice.
So, if you’re in Illinois, hop on the bandwagon. As far as I’m concerned, we’re happy to have you.
******
Some will, no doubt, accuse me of counting my chickens before they hatch by claiming victory for the Chicago Blackhawks, and maybe I deserve it. But with a 2-0 lead in the series as of this evening, I feel fairly confident calling this one for the Hawks.
And if I’m wrong, and the heavy underdog Flyers come back to pull things out?
No problem. Chicago sports teaches patience.
Where I’ve Been, Where I’m Going
As I posted previously, I’m officially done with seminary.
I say “officially,” because technically, I still have two quick papers to write and hand in before I get the 100% all-clear. Having the degrees – M.Div. and S.T.B. – in hand makes it even more difficult to summon up the motivation to finalize things.
Since January, I’ve been working a parish assignment. An awesome experience all around. Great people, a great pastor, and a great chance to reconnect with parish ministry. A part of me wishes I could simply stay on as a priest.
All good things coming to an end, however, I’m finishing there this weekend. And I’m off to.. off to…
I don’t know where I’m off to, exactly. I’m in a strange situation right now: I don’t technically belong at the seminary, but I’m yet to be assigned parochial vicar to a parish. Until word comes down from on high, my belongings will remain at school. I lack the proper motivation to move once, let alone twice. Best just to know where my junk is headed before I clean the place out.
In my immediate future: the Ordination circuit. First to Chicago, then to a First Mass in Rockford. The week after that, Springfield. Then I believe I’ll be attending my own. And after that, there’s a slight chance I might head out to New York to see the last of my classmates ordained.
It’s a pretty exciting time, but it’s also a time of transition. Pray for all of us who will be ordained in the coming month, that we keep our ears fixed on the One who calls.
On My Official Status as a Seminary Graduate
Ah, my friends from the prison, they ask unto me
“How good, how good does it feel to be free?”
And I answer them most mysteriously
“Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?”
- Bob Dylan, “Ballad in Plain D“
It’s All Coming Together
I managed to slip away long enough this afternoon to see the vestment crafted for my First Mass. The picture doesn’t do it complete justice, as the fabric fails to stand out as well as it should in the limited lighting. Needless to say, the red is perfect for the Feast of Corpus Christi on June 6th.
It’s tough to express the gratitude I feel toward the kindly woman in our diocese who constructed it, dragging her husband around to numerous clerical fabric stores in the greater Chicago area in order to find the perfect shade of white to match the front/back panels. In her search, she ended up communicating with people from the East Coast, who led her to a shop specializing in Greek Orthodox(!) fabrics. Doubly awesome is the knowledge that somewhere in the world, another cleric from the other “Great Lung of Christianity” will be wearing the same print.
It’s more beautiful than I deserve, and the best I can offer this kind woman for her time is to remember her in prayer whenever I don the chasuble to celebrate Mass.
This detail now so wonderfully dealt with, I can scrap my original plan:
Photo Evidence: I Still Live
It’s been a pretty crazy ride these past couple of months. Between school, the parish, and all the things I try to accomplish in between, I’ve been rather scarce in these here parts.
I put on a high Roman collar for the first time in my life a couple of days ago, as we were on formal dress protocol per the good Cardinal’s visit. The above picture was taken for my own amusement, since I wanted photo evidence — mostly for my family — that I don’t always look like a bum.
Isn’t It Time For a Better Kind of Soft Drink?
I have an assignment for you, if you drink Pepsi/Coke and/or Mountain Dew.
If you drink any of these sugar water concoctions, consider trying the Throwback line.
No, I’m not trying to sell you the latest version of Crystal Pepsi. That stuff was terrible, and should remain in permanent retirement.
Pepsi/Mt. Dew Throwback are made as all soft drinks should be made: with cane sugar, rather than HFCS (high-fructose corn syrup). Regular sugar is easier on the body, and it just plain tastes better. Not knowing what I was drinking, I had a Pepsi Throwback earlier this summer, and was severely disappointed when I found out it was only a temporary release.
Officially released on Monday, I’ll be looking for it everywhere over the next eight weeks. If you try and enjoy it, Tweet, Twit, Twiddle, Blog, Wog, or do whatever you can to get the word out there that Throwback is a great product we need available full-time.
The big soda producers will tell you that there’s no discernible difference between HFCS and cane sugar, and they’re likely to back this up with taste-test information.
Either a) they’re lying or b) they hired a bunch of folks with dead taste buds to sit in on the test. The first time I tried MexiCoke (Coca-Cola made in Mexico with cane sugar, since HFCS is of dubious legal standing down there), I immediately noted how much better the product tasted over the American version, even though I didn’t know why.
It sure isn’t the glass bottles.
In the end, HFCS is cheaper for the manufacturer, so that’s why they use it. We discriminating consumers lose out, but O, not for the next eight weeks!
BONUS! If you enjoy Dr. Pepper, you might be interested in the bottler located in Dublin, Texas. They do Dr. Pepper right, with the original formula.
Months Passed
The only good thing about commandeering a dead blog is that I can resurrect it at any time. Usually, I’d post a litany of excuses regarding my absence. This time, I think I’ll lead with a photo explanation:
Nov. 7th: Ordained to the Order of the Diaconate
It’s been a whirlwind these past couple of months, but it’s also been wonderful. That God could call a bum like me is ultimately a testament to both his good humor and ineffable love.
More to follow, now that the flurry of activity surrounding a new academic year and ordination has passed.
The Closer I Get to the Big Day…
…the more this song runs through my head.
And yes: this particular version, which stands as the beginning and end of my Japanese language ability.
More later.
Checking In…
Contrary to Greg’s comment on the previous post, I’ve not run off to live a life dedicated to the First Church of Michael Jackson’s Glove. Tempting, but I realized it just wouldn’t be feasible to begin any building projects, what with the new Cap and Trade regulations and all…
No, things have just been extremely busy. By the time I get home every night from my summer assignment, I don’t have energy for much but Facebook and private study. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say: I just have no energy to say it.
As the assignment winds down, I’ll be back. You can bet on it.
Gone, But (You’re) Not Forgotten
Howdy! It’s me. Remember me?
My Internet access situation has been rectified, and I’m back in action. I’m also finally developing something of a daily routine here in St. Louis, even though I’m terribly busy with a long work week at the hospital. I’m living in a great parish, and the pastor here has been nothing less than wonderful, so I’m feeling pretty good about the “domestic” part of the summer.
I’m going to blog when possible (now that I have relatively consistent access to the intertubes), but it will be slow-going over the next two months or so. With overnight shifts on top of a 40-hour work week, they keep us going.
Just so you know, I’ve also accepted a generous invitation from Joshua Claybourn to blog over at In the Agora, a group project I’ve followed since its inception. Hopefully I’ll be able to add a “Roman” perspective to the proceedings there.
Until next time…
Hello From St. Louis…
My summer has officially begun, but I’m currently with limited Internet access. As a matter of fact, I’m currently blogging from an iPhone, of all things.
Sorry to have been so sparse around… well, everywhere lately. More to come soon, I promise.