Vocations
Ordination
This Saturday, I was ordained a priest.
It’s been difficult to put a finger on what to say about it, exactly. I originally began blogging to explore the discernment process, a theme I more-or-less stayed true to through my three projects, Saint Some Days, Fiat: Discerning God’s Call, and here at Quid Sit? And now that my vocational discernment has come to its conclusion, I find myself overwhelmed by a number of thoughts and emotions that are difficult to accurately describe outside the context of prayer.
People ask me if I feel any different, which is another difficult thing to answer. Of course I feel different, but how I feel different is impossible to put down in words.
I think I can describe one part of it, though.
When my brothers and I hit the marble during the Litany of Saints, it struck me that everything I’d experienced — the good, the bad, and the ugly — all of it was leading up to that very moment. It struck me that I’m a worm and no man, and here I am, on the floor, no more than a speck of dust in the cosmos, acknowledging that fact. I acknowledged that God has called me to do something that I alone cannot do. I felt very small.
Then I stood up. I did not stand because I thought myself worthy of such gift or responsibility. I stood to receive the bishop’s hands because God called, and I knew — in that very moment — that the God who willed such a thing for me would always give me the grace to live up to my ordination.
And it’s been all thanksgiving ever since.
One Week To Go…
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
and before you were born I consecrated you;
I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
Then I said, “Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.”
But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, `I am only a youth’;
for to all to whom I send you you shall go,
and whatever I command you you shall speak.
Be not afraid of them,
for I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD.”
Then the LORD put forth his hand and touched my mouth; and the LORD said to me, “Behold, I have put my words in your mouth.
See, I have set you this day over nations and over kingdoms,
to pluck up and to break down,
to destroy and to overthrow,
to build and to plant.”- Jeremiah 1:5-10
Where I’ve Been, Where I’m Going
As I posted previously, I’m officially done with seminary.
I say “officially,” because technically, I still have two quick papers to write and hand in before I get the 100% all-clear. Having the degrees – M.Div. and S.T.B. – in hand makes it even more difficult to summon up the motivation to finalize things.
Since January, I’ve been working a parish assignment. An awesome experience all around. Great people, a great pastor, and a great chance to reconnect with parish ministry. A part of me wishes I could simply stay on as a priest.
All good things coming to an end, however, I’m finishing there this weekend. And I’m off to.. off to…
I don’t know where I’m off to, exactly. I’m in a strange situation right now: I don’t technically belong at the seminary, but I’m yet to be assigned parochial vicar to a parish. Until word comes down from on high, my belongings will remain at school. I lack the proper motivation to move once, let alone twice. Best just to know where my junk is headed before I clean the place out.
In my immediate future: the Ordination circuit. First to Chicago, then to a First Mass in Rockford. The week after that, Springfield. Then I believe I’ll be attending my own. And after that, there’s a slight chance I might head out to New York to see the last of my classmates ordained.
It’s a pretty exciting time, but it’s also a time of transition. Pray for all of us who will be ordained in the coming month, that we keep our ears fixed on the One who calls.
It’s All Coming Together
I managed to slip away long enough this afternoon to see the vestment crafted for my First Mass. The picture doesn’t do it complete justice, as the fabric fails to stand out as well as it should in the limited lighting. Needless to say, the red is perfect for the Feast of Corpus Christi on June 6th.
It’s tough to express the gratitude I feel toward the kindly woman in our diocese who constructed it, dragging her husband around to numerous clerical fabric stores in the greater Chicago area in order to find the perfect shade of white to match the front/back panels. In her search, she ended up communicating with people from the East Coast, who led her to a shop specializing in Greek Orthodox(!) fabrics. Doubly awesome is the knowledge that somewhere in the world, another cleric from the other “Great Lung of Christianity” will be wearing the same print.
It’s more beautiful than I deserve, and the best I can offer this kind woman for her time is to remember her in prayer whenever I don the chasuble to celebrate Mass.
This detail now so wonderfully dealt with, I can scrap my original plan:
Months Passed
The only good thing about commandeering a dead blog is that I can resurrect it at any time. Usually, I’d post a litany of excuses regarding my absence. This time, I think I’ll lead with a photo explanation:
Nov. 7th: Ordained to the Order of the Diaconate
It’s been a whirlwind these past couple of months, but it’s also been wonderful. That God could call a bum like me is ultimately a testament to both his good humor and ineffable love.
More to follow, now that the flurry of activity surrounding a new academic year and ordination has passed.
Gone Fishin’ Studying: The S.T.B. Exam
Looks like my weekend won’t include a few hours out on the lake here, in spite of the fact that it’ll finally be warm enough to enjoy a little fishing.
My S.T.B (Sacrae Theologiae Baccalaureus) examination looms in one week, and tonight’s study session made me realize how very far I have to go in a week. It’s managable, but still challenging.
A blurb on what the S.T.B. is, exactly:
S.T.B. (Sacrae Theologiae Baccalaureus) refers to the academic degree Bachelor of Sacred Theology.
The Bachelor of Sacred Theology is offered by a number of theological colleges. It is sometimes offered as a graduate degree, for students who have already completed a BA or other first degree. It can also be offered as an “ecclesiastical degree”, granted directly by church hierarchy after one has completed requirements in addition to those necessary for a civil degree, but which are required for ordination.
Within the Catholic Church, the STB is the first of three ecclesiastical degrees in theology (the second and third are the Licentiate of Sacred Theology and Doctor of Sacred Theology respectively), and as such is granted by pontifical faculties under the authority of the Holy See. It is awarded upon successful completion of the first cycle, a three-year course of studies that aims for a comprehensive competence in theology.
Despite its name, the STB is a graduate degree, at least in the US. While acceptance to an STB programme always requires at least two prior years’ undergraduate study of philosophy, as well as knowledge of Latin and Greek, in the United States a completed undergraduate degree is generally required for admission to an STB programme. Thus it is roughly equivalent academically to an MDiv (although the STB has a more academic focus while the MDiv has a more pastoral focus), and the two are sometimes granted together.
That just about sums it up.
Pray I get my act together and do well.